22/365 Disabled Jewish Italian housing market

This is what is wrong with modern homes. Evidently targeting the large disabled Jewish Italian population in Melbourne, this little gem from Ascui Edwards Architects was presented in The Age Domain lift-out under the title 'The style of opulent minimalism'. Opulent is correct but author Kerrie O'Brien is clearly confused about the term 'minimalism'. Or Ascui Edwards's PR agency is.

Above is the floor plan for a brand new, three story home in North Caulfield. The two things that I think it has in its favour are 1) its garden seems to exist primarily of drought-friendly succulents and 2) it isn't a McMansion, although it seems to bear a lot of hallmarks of one.

If you decide to grant this property an inspection, as the article suggests that you should, you can expect to find the following:

• Pond and two water features - so practical and responsible in these times of 3A water restrictions;
• Both a meals and dining area, to avoid dinner guests seeing how you really eat when they're not there;
• Built-in gas barbeque;
• Kitchen with two Miele ovens as well as a Pesach kitchen with Smeg appliances - okay, useful for Passover if you're Jewish but with two ovens in the main kitchen already, a little extravagant;
• Rumpus room with kitchenette - two kitchens and a barbeque wasn't enough?
• Three bedrooms, all with ensuites, the master bedroom boasting a spa;
• Drying cupboard  and dressing room in the master bedroom as well;
• Home cinema - all the better to avoid leaving the house with, grandmother;
• Italian door furniture - otherwise known as door handles and door knobs;
• Video intercom - to keep the scary world locked firmly outside of your fortress;
• Four car garage with storage - the other 15 rooms didn't have enough space?
• And the best part, an Italian lift with mirror doors that services all three levels - again, very useful if you're disabled or aged, otherwise what? You're too lazy to walk up two flights of stairs? Once again with the Italian thing too...

I read this and felt a little bit like throwing up. Every day we get bombarded with bad news stories about environmental degradation (and I know it's unfashionable but god, I'm so over it) and there are still homes like this being built. And there are still, presumably, greedy, lazy people buying them. Unless you had six children, why would you possibly need all of that space? What's wrong with going to the actual cinema? What's wrong with one oven? What's wrong with one kitchen? What's wrong with hanging your clothes out on the line? What's wrong with sharing a bathroom and only eating in one room? And if you really think you need to live across three levels, then stop being so goddamn lazy and climb the freaking stairs! 

Hack.

General Sumo recommends:

Living responsibly

Do you really need a lounge room, family room and a home theatre? Homes seem to be all about cutting yourself off from the physical community outside your door now. 

Going to bed

It's late and you have work tomorrow. 

21/365 Happy Hippo Car Wash

A tip for fans of multitasking: whilst doing your grocery shopping in South Melbourne, you can have your car washed at The Happy Hippo Car Wash in the Spotlight Centre car park. 

Grant and I had our car washed there one day and, although I didn't stick around to watch, I'm pretty sure that this is what happens: in that cage, behind the sign, is a really big hippopotamus. Blue, by the look of things. The hippopotamus opens his mouth and the people that you leave you keys with, they drive the car in to the hippo's mouth. Then he closes his mouth and swishes your car around inside, much like you do when you use Listerine. After around fifteen minutes of swishing, the hippo opens his mouth and the peeps back the car out again and park in it specially marked parking bays, awaiting your return. 

I haven't quite worked out how they cleaned the inside of the car but maybe next time I'll stick around and see.

General Sumo recommends:

The Happy Hippo Car Wash

Level 1, car park of the Spotlight Centre

Corner of York and Cecil Streets, South Melbourne

I thought we were onto something new and exciting with the wash while you shop thing but it turns out that my mother-in-law has been doing it for ages back in Adelaide. Clearly, Melbourne has some ground to cover in car wash innovation. Although I'm not sure if Jan has her car cleaned by a hippo, so we may still be forward thinking in that respect.

20/365 Mr Feathers

Mr Feathers is the latest addition to The Who-Who's mouse army, joining such other popular mice as Diabeetus Mouse and Raffia Mouse. Mr Feathers came from a pet store and DIY dog wash in Abbotsford. After voyeuristically watching some dogs have baths, Grant and I checked out the kitten toy section and decided that two mice were clearly not enough for a capable hunter like The Who. So we purchased Mr Feathers, who at first was going to be called Many Cheezburgers Mouse. Above, we see Mr Feathers riding home in the Golf, about to meet his new family. The photo really captures his mixture of excitement and nervous apprehension. 

Mr Feathers has become a close second favourite to Diabeetus. To be fair to third favourite, Raffia Mouse, he is half the mouse he used to be, having lost a lot of his raffia, which can only be a sign of good play times that were had.

General Sumo recommends:

Those toy mice that feel like they're made with real fur

Maybe they are. Try not to think about it. It's not like mice in the wild have tails made of feathers. Not in Australia anyway.

19/365 Colour

Thanks former Safeway for some pre-Easter colouring in. I think I have done a superb job, especially in layering the colours on the pears and the sun. It was a little disappointing to discover that the competition entry form on the back didn't have an age bracket for 12+. 

What sort of shit Easter hunt is that anyway? Imagine going out in anticipation of brightly wrapped chocolate eggs and finding a pumpkin or a pear. Wow. Wild times.

General Sumo recommends:

Colouring in

So relaxing and therapeutic. Don't try colouring in an entire page in one night though. Your arm will hurt. Also don't let the cat sit on the page.

18/365 Beer!

Because one beer event is never enough, on Thursday night, I attended the Australian International Beer Awards. My primary memory of the night is pain due to wearing my work heels out to lunch that day then walking from home to the Belgian Beer Cafe to the casino in even angrier heels. I now have a lot of deflated blisters on the balls of my feet.

Aside from the foot pain, the event was lots of fun. The previous night's record of the most men, aged 23-48 in one venue was quickly surpassed once I arrived and plunged in to the sea of suits. I bravely began the night with a wine but moved on to beer once seated for dinner. Once again, I had entered man heaven as a short-term guest. A large silver bowl at the centre of our table was constantly replenished with different bottles of beer.

As an item of interest, I point out that the evening was hosted by Paul Mercurio. Yes, that guy from Strictly Ballroom who then did the Chesty Bonds ads (I accidentally typed 'Chesty Bongs' then but that is quite a different product). Dinner involved duck, arranged in artfully different ways in the three shallow valleys of my entree plate; ocean trout with some other stuff that escapes me; and an apple tart with cinnamon ice-cream. Normally suspicious of fruit masquerading of dessert, I was pleased to find the apple amply surrounded by fattening pastry and resting lightly in a puddle of cream. Afterwards came coffee, tea and chocolates. I had worked out a plan to chat with people at a lot of different tables so that I could gorge on chocolates without anyone noticing but then I realized I was tired and just wanted to go home.

No awards for us during the night but a lot picked up by a small Western Australian brewery called the Feral Brewing Company. Quite a big achievement for a brewery with only one bottled beer (several more in draught form). The picture above comes from one of a few old beer ads that were screened during the night. I can only hope to be such a good wife as the lady above, bringing her husband a refreshing beer after a long day at work, leading the way with her disturbingly pointy bosom.

General Sumo recommends:

Not turning down an offer to attend the beer awards

Bryson!

Only making one outdoor trip in high heels per day

Stupidly, I then wore the same heels to work the next day. What was I thinking? Caroline was smart enough to wear flats.

Feral White by the Feral Brewing Company

I couldn't say I was big on the name, nor did I try the Feral White but with so many awards and a room full of brewers willing to clap them, I'm guessing they do something right.

17/356 Male, 23-48

Beer, bratwursts and Boscastles. A man paradise at Fed Square - the microbreweries showcase. Leon sounded the call: Grant responded. Stella and I went along for the ride. I don't think I've ever seen so many men in the 23-48 age bracket (this record was broken the following night - see blog 18/365). Single people whose preference runs that way, take note.

Our very own Matilda Bay was there, complete with model of Sebastian the duck at the stand. 

I sacrilegiously drank a strawberry Big M, chatted with Stella and took photographs. Above we see Leon, peering out from behind Grant and clearly thinking about chish.

General Sumo recommends:

Fed Square Microbreweries Showcase

28th and 29th October 2009, 16:30-20:00, The Atrium

You buy a $25 tasting ticket entitling you to 20 beers (sample size), put down a $2 deposit on a glass and away you go, stopping for some sort of manly sustenance along the way with your $5 meal ticket. It's always exciting to see what sort of things the mini-breweries can come up with, away from the constraints of big business pressures (sort of...).

16/365 Red Roses and Champagne

A nice present that was waiting for me at reception on Tuesday afternoon. I was quite mystified when one of the receptionists said "A guy named Peter dropped them off" as though I would know who that was. "His number is on that Post-It note on the side," she added helpfully, pointing out a little yellow addition to the card.

For a little while, at least until I got up to the second floor and sat down at my desk again, I thought I could have had a secret admirer and was secretly tickled. Then I opened the card and discovered that I didn't have a secret admirer - I had suppliers. The lovely Kimberley and Peter at Mead had organized the gift to congratulate me on my recent marriage. 

I thought that Peter must have been in town from Sydney and dropped the present in personally, hence why the name and phone number were on the Post-It note. So I rang the number and thanked him for his thoughtful gift. Only it wasn't him. There was a long confused silence on the end of the line. "You're thanking me for them?" the gentleman finally responded. Oh. Turns out the courier was also called Peter. 

Um, anyhow... after thanking the courier (who knows why his name and number were on the package?) I called both the right Peter and Kimberley to thank them. The flowers are on their way out now, almost a week later but I've really enjoyed having them at home. I don't ever buy red roses for the house but they're a beautiful classic. The champagne, with its exciting cooler packaging - the bottom half acts as a cooler after opened - is in the fridge awaiting a special occasion.

General Sumo recommends:

Thoughtful presents

These really made my day. It's always nice to get flowers and the champagne was a lovely bonus.

Checking your voicemail often

That's more a recommendation to myself. I can never keep up with my voicemails and, consequently, these sat down at reception for half a day before someone called one of my colleagues to pass the message on. I even walked past the flowers downstairs and thought that someone was getting a nice gift. Turns out it was me!

15/365 Steamy Monday

This was the only thing worthy of taking a photo of on Monday. How boring. I did go to work but I'm figuring that it would pretty a) nerdy and b) suspicious if I turned up with a camera and started snapping photos at work. You might get to see all of that top secret innovation that is going on the behind the scenes (can you put an MP3 player in a can of beer and will anyone want it if it's not an iPod?).

So, I've been ironing three items of clothing a night, trying to space out the drudgery. It's going pretty well. Because I slacked on Thursday night and tonight, we'll be wearing rumpled clothes tomorrow. Good thing it's the weekend.

I've been thinking about buying a garment steamer. If anyone has any experience with non-industrial garment steamers, you can leave me a helpful comment below. Even if you've just thought about buying one too, you can leave a comment. It's nice to know that you're not alone.

The other interesting thing that happened is that the black hawk helicopters were doing some sort of military training manoeuvres during the day and evening. They went past my window at work and also upset The Who later on in the evening. He had to hide under the bed on the Jumbo vacuum-seal space saver bag for a while to recuperate.

General Sumo recommends:

Doing your ironing in small bites

Keep it manageable but more than one piece per person per day so you can have the satisfaction of knowing you have a selection of pre-ironed clothes to choose from. It helps me to feel empowered every morning.

14/365 Wardrobe Emergency!

You know the feeling: you're off to a special event, you've spent an hour trawling through your wardrobe but you've got nothing to wear. Well, my sartorially challenged friends, now is the time to rejoice! At least for those of you doing the weekly shop. Above is the perfect shirt to wear whilst shopping for fresh produce, as found at the South Melbourne Market. 

Try not to take offence when people comment on your juicy melons.

General Sumo recommends:

South Melbourne Market

Cnr of Cecil and Coventry Streets, South Melbourne

Although the Central Market in Adelaide is still my favourite, the 50 minute plan ride is not always practical. The South Melbourne Market is a damn good substitute. Fresh fruit and vegetables, meat, bread, sweeties and pasta are in plentiful supply as are cute dogs lining the street outside. If you're lucky, you might catch a random butcher singing opera. My only complaint is that it's a little bit vanilla. This is not the place to come if you're looking for anything that falls outside the regular white upper-middle class diet.

T.O.M.S. (The Organic Meat Store)

Stall 30, South Melbourne Market

I'm not such a big meat fan but I've loved everything we've bought from T.O.M.S.  The service is fast, friendly and helpful and the guys can tell you where the meat is from - something that makes someone struggling with the ethics of meat-eating, like me, feel a little bit better.

13/365 Bill

This is Bill. Bill hangs at The Gertrude Hotel in Fitzroy, waiting for scratches and doggy admiration. Rumor has it that he occasionally lets fly with a particularly pungent fart, although I've fortunately yet to experience this.

Grant and I ate lunch at The Gertrude on Saturday during an interlude in property viewing. I had pumpkin and parmesan ravioli with a tomato and vegetable sauce whilst Grant indulged in the burger. Big marks to my pasta, in particular the sauce, which featured plentiful vegetable action. I find this is often hard to come by in pasta dishes so it was a pleasant surprise. 

At first shunning my advances and seriously endangering my Dr. Doolittle reputation, Bill eventually came around when he realized that his table of lady friends was leaving and he could no longer receive foot scratches. We spent some fun time together, me giving him some energetic rubs on the belly with my feet. It sure did make me miss having a dog. I'm not saying I don't love The Who-Who because who doesn't, right? But there's only so much vigor with which you can rub a kitten's soft white belly.

Sleep well Bill. Until the next time.

General Sumo recommends:

The Gertrude Hotel

148 Gertrude Street, Fitzroy

It smelt a little funky this Saturday but I'm prepared to put that down to the copious amounts of rain. Or maybe Bill. I've heard the chicken wings are superb but since I am one of those three Australians who doesn't like chicken, I haven't explored that terrain. Friendly staff, relaxed atmosphere, amusing pet and a fireplace. What's not to love?

The CardioTwister presentation

This was on the TV at The Gertrude. Working out hasn't been this fun since.... well, ever! And I don't know, Cheryl, I reckon I do hate working out more than you do. Check out the padded handlebars at the 2:00 mark. I think you'll appreciate them as much as she does. Also, note that by buying the CardioTwister, you appear to automatically upgrade your digs to a mansion with swimming pool. And for only $14.95 for a 30 day trial (but if you don't like it, you have to pay return shipping)! What I want to know is, if it takes 4-6 weeks to ship, as detailed in tiny writing at the bottom of the last few frames, does your 30 days start from the despatch date or the receipt date? Oh to hell with it! 7/10/09 - Cardio Party at my house!!!!!!

12/365 Connex Sizzle!

Hammer in the stake! Finally, the prayers of thousands of Melbourne train commuters are answered.

General Sumo recommends:

Living walking distance from work

Not only do you not have to worry about commute times and train anger but you can act all self-righteous about how environmentally responsible you are.

Taking your shoes off and stepping all over fake grass

Not as good as real grass but still a tactile delight.

11/365 arieanjlhj.,,,,,,,,,,.ewthlkadf

I'm pretty sure that's what The Who was typing. He has discovered an important piece of information that has changed his life: the laptops get hot! Especially when I'm playing Simmies. I'll be busy running the lives of Platypus Chan, Hobson's Bay Hobson's Bay and Thompsons Fitzgerald when all of a sudden the game wildly starts taking photos or recording a film or randomly quits. Oh, The Who-Who must be on the laptop again.

I've tried putting random things on the keyboard to discourage kitten settlement but he tends to just sit on top of them. One time he actually reclined against the screen. He's so relaxed with modern technology.

And yes, Grant, after this photo I did push him off. He got on the Macbook instead.

General Sumo recommends:

Setting up a comfy blanket as an alternative to the warm laptop

It took a bit of prodding and the placement of a tea box on the laptop keyboard but he got the message in the end. He was little bit angry but he got over it.

Sims 2

Playing dollhouse was never this fun before. I like to use the phonebook and name my people after street names. Hence why I have someone called Platypus Chan, sister of Beaver Chan. I also had someone called The Ridge. She was awesome. Then I like to conduct mini-social experiments like, what happens if I make a freaky cult community full of blonde, blue eyed people who aren't allowed to have any technology and whose female members can't work and see how long they can survive and interbreed before they're all related and have to search for partners in the outside world. Next up: the singles neighbourhood.

10/365 Yep, It's A Busker

My last day of holidays (I'm a few blogs behind but have faithfully taken a photo every day). I went into the city to do something.... What was it? Oh, to buy ink and more storage solutions. So after picking up some black Quink and a set of three over-the-door hooks, I came back through Bourke Street Mall and spied this guy busking. I was impressed that he managed to get a piano into the mall so after taking this photo and making a donation, I went over to ask. The answer was much less exciting than I had anticipated: by truck. I had romantic visions of him wheeling it all the way in from Brunswick or something. Nevertheless, going to all that trouble to load and unload it from a truck sure beats a guitar on a strap.

My request was 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow'.

General Sumo recommends:

Making an extra effort as a busker

I'm not interested in your artful dreadlocks, your dolphin candle store clothes or your hemp guitar strap. Call me when you're respectfully dressed in a tuxedo t-shirt and jaunty top hat and have wheeled your piano all the way from Brunswick. 

Having correct grammar

Note the correctly placed apostrophe on that bottom sign. If I'd noticed that at the time, he would have gotten another few coins. I've seen professionally painted signs that can't even get that right!

Over-the-door hooks

$8 or something at Big W for the three-hooker

The answer to all of our 'I can't be bothered putting my clothes in the wardrobe' problems. I should have got the five-hooker.

9/365 Lemon Baxter - You Can't Stop It

On Tuesday during a trip to the South Melbourne Coles to get pasta, Grant and I spied this awesome old building set to be demolished and redeveloped as an office block, with sales courtesy of real estate firm Lemon Baxter. How criminal. The building is clearly begging for someone like us to have enough money to buy and live in it, although those windows might be a bit too revealing in the middle of South Melbourne.

As an aside, I've always thought that Lemon Baxter sounded like a cocktail made up by David Baxter at work, not a real estate company. "I'll have two martinis and a lemon baxter thanks."

General Sumo recommends:

Not getting rid of all the awesome old industrial buildings

Although, to be honest, I'd rather see them destroyed completely than a slow, painful death by executisation. This is when property developers take a great warehouse and strip it of any character on the inside to make it into an 'executive apartment', relying solely on the coolness of the brick exterior to sell the place as 'edgy and urban'.

Drinking a lemon baxter

Mojitos are so passe. I don't know how to do an e acute on the Macbook. Just imagine it.

8/365 Utah Trio Aids Host

Back from Sandy and still on our reduced television kick, Grant and I decided to do the puzzles in The Age. We started out with the quiz, moved on to the quick crossword, had a stab at Target and finished off with two other word puzzles. 

We were quite proud of ourselves managing to complete both of the latter puzzles. Then we noticed that they were titled 'Under Age'. There are two options when considering this title and both make me feel dumb. Option 1: This is a section for young people, calling into question our mental abilities. Option 2: The title, Under Age, is some sort of clever play on words using the name of the newspaper. But I can't work out what it is, once again calling into question my mental abilities.

Interesting to note that the solutions for the puzzle from the day before seemed to be on some sort of bushfire theme. Maybe I'm reading too much into that. Not sure what the theme of the puzzle we did was. Sounds political.

General Sumo recommends:

Doing puzzles in the paper together

This is our new after dinner activity and I'm loving it, even though The Age makes me feel stupid. We've been looking up new words on Dictionary.Com and researching crossword answers on Wiki, those infinite sources of infallible knowledge. I was a little mad that The Age didn't recognize 'fuck' as a legitimate answer for Target. It's a word! It was the first word I found.

Looking up the solution words from yesterday's Target. 

Who knew 'tufa' and 'kerf' were words?

7/365 Coal Power: I Never Did Ask How That Worked

Mr and Mrs Booker kindly extended an invitation to us to visit with them at their beach house in Sandy Point once again this past weekend. No staying at caravan parks like ruffians for us! 

It says a lot about Sandy Point, and indeed Mr and Mrs Booker, that I am prepared to sit through a two and a half hour car journey to go there. I detest road trips. It raises long repressed memories of the three and a bit hour car journey from Port Augusta to Adelaide that I made many times during childhood. The only consolation now is that I get to sit in the front seat, have unlimited access to the lollies and nobody punches my arm every time they see a VW Beetle. 

After engaging in the prerequisite reading and lying around in the afternoon, disturbed only by the amusement of a miniature motorbike, we sat down for drinks and chips with part-time Sandy Pointer, Simon. Simon works as an operator at a coal power plant. And as he spoke, I thought, "I spent a lot of time growing up in a coal power plant town. I never did ask how that actually works". Back then, I was too busy being a hater.

And so here was my opportunity. Above, we see Simon using a yellow bowl as the boiler and various beer bottles as I can't remember what exactly but something that the coal is crushed up into dust in after the moisture gets zapped out. Don't ask me to explain it but it involved gas, water, coal, crushing, heating and a lot of really big things. It's all a lot more complicated than I ever imagined, causing my head to spin kind of in the way it did when I read that astronomy book five years ago. But less scary. I felt much more appreciative of electricity after that. And also of that versatile yellow bowl, which is my favourite piece of crockery at Mr and Mrs Booker's beach house.

Before I forget, another highlight of the trip was using our Jumbo vacuum seal bag to transport our bedding. It works, it really works!

General Sumo recommends:

Asking more detailed questions about what people do

I used to do this a lot but I've clearly been too self-absorbed for too long. You never know what you can learn and from whom.

Not stirring paella

You might get in trouble with the host. This is what comes of never doing the cooking at your own house. Umm...at least I remembered bedding this time.

Falling asleep on road trips

It's the only non-boring way to spend the time. Remember to wake up every hour or so to make a token effort at engaging the driver in conversation. Unless you are the driver. In which case, you may need some sort of stimulant to last the trip.

6/365 Moomba

Another year, another Moomba.  This time I avoided getting sunburnt by employing the wily tactic of attending at night.

Grant and I went out for dinner at Pellegrini's, something I've been meaning to do for a long time. After an intense lasagne experience, complete with watermelon granita (served by Anita, clearly forced into the role because of her rhyming name), we wandered back through the city and stumbled upon this year's Moomba festival.

It was there that I realized two important things: 1) No matter how good a parent you normally are, you are always going to suck at events like this.  All of those unnaturally coloured foods, cheap shitty trinkets and mystifyingly oversized toys insulted my South-Melbourne-Market-going, Scandanavian-design-loving, two-bedroom-apartment-living senses. I was quietly horrified. But I'm pretty sure this is what kiddy heaven looks like. All the mini people were wandering around either super-hyped or in a blissful daze, otherwise known as a sugar coma, clutching Scooby Doos the size of an actual great dane. If that was my child, I couldn't wait until it went to sleep and I could sneak Scooby down the rubbish chute. "Velma came by in The Mystery Machine looking for him last night. It looks like Old Man Cattich is haunting the roller rink downtown again. You understand, don't you?"

Oh and 2) God, teenagers shit me! Generally. Like, I know that they're just being lion cubs and learning how to play in the big jungle and all of that but gosh, am I ever glad I'm over those days. One charming young suitor called to a prospective bunch of belles: "Hey, come and suck my dick!" Ah, modern courting. 

But on to the picture above. As always, I can't resist an example of astoundingly bad English. I feel like I should have some sort of funny comment to make about it but I really can't think of anything. I am open to suggestions.  Whilst I'm on that picture though, what is going on with all of the stuffed toys hanging upside down like they're in some sort of stuffed toy horror film? Quick, Care Bear power required!

General Sumo recommends:

Taking a walk through the city at night

One of our favourite activities as a couple that never fails to remind us just why we love living in the city so much. There's always something going on in Melbourne's CBD and the best way to see it all is on foot.

Checking out the Moomba fireworks

Even if you don't dig the sideshows and teenage mating rituals, the fireworks are always beautiful.

Dining at Pellegrini's

66 Bourke Street, Melbourne

I know I'm way behind on this one but the lasagne and watermelon granita was well worth the wait. I've never had lasagne like that. Ever. The staff are friendly and happy and clearly have a great camaraderie. I must go back for cake.

5/365 Oh no! Oscar?

Somewhere in South Melbourne.

General Sumo recommends:

Keeping this picture away from the kiddies

Well, at least it's a step up from the trash can. I wonder what happened to Slimey? 

4/365 Note To Self: Don't Go Shopping When Sick

What the fuck was I thinking? I went to buy something for dinner.

General Sumo recommends:

Getting someone else to do the shopping when you're sick

Unless you like honey ring and outback animal custard with superglued prunes. 

Scrubs

Thursdays at 23:00, Channel 7

I forgot how much I liked this show. Make sure you change the channel afterward otherwise you'll get stuck watching Beauty and the Geek like me. Actually, don't go to Channel 10 either because you'll get Sports Tonight.

3/365 Stupid Scott

Apart from a jog this morning at 8:00, this was my only outing for the day. Stupid Scott has given me his stupid cold via stupid Grant! Well, at least it was a good day to be sick. Raining off and on all day and so windy. I think the hedge and the tree outside went horizontal at one point. Where's summer? And don't tell me it's March. I don't want to hear it.

I left the house for that important staple food - chocolate. I tried those new Cadbury Bites. Bought two packets with the intention of leaving one for Grant. But then I couldn't decide if I wanted Cherry Ripe or Picnic so I opened both and only meant to eat half. I even put them back on the shelf. I think we all know that Grant only got to see the empty packets in the bin. I also bought milk to make it look like a had a legitimate reason to be at the IGA. I doubt I was convincing. They were probably just wondering why I wasn't buying Diet Coke. Grant also bought milk and now we have one and a half litres and only one person who drinks milk.

General Sumo recommends: 

Cadbury Bites

Buy two packets and mix them together. It creates a sense of mystery and surprise when you reach into the packet. What will you draw out next?

Stealing warmth from the cat

When you wake up a little bit cold on a chilly day, pull the blanket so that your faithful kitten, who is naturally lying next to you, is forced to lie on your legs or feet. They'll feel angry at first but they'll get over it. Mainly because they're lazy.

2/365 Jumbo

It won't win any photography awards but could possibly have ended in a Darwin award - Grant getting the most out of our new Jumbo vacuum-seal storage bag.  

I was at Big W today to pick up some more wooden coat hangers and, upon turning around, was confronted by a half-aisle selection of vacuum-seal storage bags. After a few minutes of deliberation between Large and Jumbo, I went with Jumbo due to its promise to house two whole bed sets. In a two-bedroom apartment, I am always looking for great storage ideas. Having only seen this type of product in the dubious environment of late-night infomercials before, I hoped that it wouldn't disappoint.

Like the true storage nerd I am, I couldn't wait to get home to try it out. Then, when I did get home, I was tired so I had a nap on the couch whilst The Who-Who had a nap in the new armchair.

Refreshed from my nap and with Grant home from work to share the excitement, we set about putting all of our spare bed accoutrements in the bag. As you can see, we hit a snag trying to get the pillows in. The Jumbo bag really is Jumbo. In the end, it took a quilt, four pillows, two cushions, a knitted rug from Oma and the Aerobed mattress protector. The Jumbo bag was too Jumbo to fit back in the study wardrobe comfortably so it is now under the bed, waiting for The Who to go and lie on it, which he invariably will. This has now freed up space for those important essentials, Corona and Diet Coke, to go in the wardrobe.

General Sumo recommends:

Space Bag vacuum-seal storage bags

About $18 at Big W and probably other places. And yes, it really does work and it really is easy. I always thought infomercials were too good to be true. Maybe I should try the Ab King Pro.

East of India

7 Degraves Street, Melbourne

Locally designed pieces made with beautiful fabrics imported from India. The fabrics are absolutely what makes these clothes, especially for someone like me who shudders at the touch of synthetics. The quality of production absolutely deserves a mention too. Not too sure about the limited opening hours and slightly uncomfortable buying experience though. On the upside, look out for the cute brown puppy dog under the counter!

Not working

Finally, time to do all those things that make home life run smoothly - make the bed, do the dishes, do the washing, get watch batteries replaced. I feel like I actually have a life again as opposed to just a job and for the first time in about nine months, I don't feel stressed. Turns out I'm actually a nice person without work stress. Who would have guessed?

1/365 Life After Television

With Grant out listening to what I'm sure is a titillating Accounting 1 lecture (for him, it probably is), Dr Who-bama and I thought it was a good time to capture a shot of  The Who molting all over our new chair. Yes, after three years of Grant lying in bed looking at Scandinavian furniture centrefolds, we finally lashed out and bought our very own piece of Scando furniture that did not come from Ikea. 

Pictured above is Grant's new baby - a 1960s Danish armchair with mismatching foot stool in brick leather and whatever kind of timber that is.  Teak? I forgot to ask. Shame on me.  I am clearly not enough of a design junkie. Said chair was purchased from the Three Quarters gallery on Gertrude Street in Fitzroy, where we received fantastic service on both days that we visited this last week. We also checked out their warehouse in Kerr Street, behind the Evelyn Hotel, where we again received outstanding service from the very lovely Len. It's so nice to shop somewhere that is run by knowledgeable people with a true passion for what they are selling. 

It was a hard decision in the end as the warehouse and gallery were filled with a plethora of awesome furniture and reminded me (as if I needed it) why I love Scando design so much. Everything is beautiful and functional. I could have bought about 15 new pieces in the one sitting - telephone tables and tiny bedsides with treasure troves of ingenious compartments, high-backed fabric armchairs, big comfy sofas and illuminated beer signs. And then I remembered that we live in a two bedroom apartment and that I'm afraid of bigger dwellings anyway.

The chair purchase was part of an overall nesting change that we are making at the moment. We have decided to have a living area that does not revolve around the television. Our 32" weirdly-cheap-imported-from-China TV has been relegated to the study and we have set the armchair up along the former 'television wall', with a bookcase in the middle. The intention is to buy a new chair to go on the other side of the bookcase, a space currently inhabited by the CD storage. We're thinking the PearsonLloyd Flow chair and foot stool but that's still a few months off so it could change. 

I've just been thinking how odd it is that in the bulk of Australian homes (and I suspect, in a lot of other countries), the living area is entirely based around the television. For the first few months in our apartment, we lived without a television. And you know, I really didn't miss it.  We had the weirdo China TV on order and didn't see the point of buying another TV to fill in the gap. That was until I bought Grant an X-Box 360 for his birthday and the China shipment was delayed. Then it just seemed cruel so we went out and bought a little 19" set.  This is now on top of the bookshelf as we apparently aren't ready to go cold turkey.  I think things will be easier once we have a stereo system set up and can listen to the radio with good quality speakers. I like having the TV on sometimes just for the noise if I'm home alone.

With the television as a focal point, it is so easy just to come home and veg out without thinking about what you are doing. Especially when your brain is dead from a hectic day at work. I'm hoping to build up our stock of games and maybe get a coffee table and put out some drawing or colouring-in supplies to fill the gap. And then there's always reading and talking.

So stay tuned to find out how this little experiment goes and whether Grant flips out when he gets home and finds The Who hanging out in his new chair.

General Sumo recommends:

Three Quarters, 20th Century Furnishings

Gallery - 128 Gertrude Street, Fitzroy, Victoria

Warehouse - Rear 28 Kerr Street, Fitzroy, Victoria (behind the Evelyn Hotel)

Beautiful imported, vintage Scandinavian furniture. Len at the warehouse was only too happy to oblige our annoying requests to take several chairs off of the shelves to try out. Just quietly, I'd also like to live in the gallery.

South gin and tonic with cucumber

Free pour the gin. Not because you're that cool, just because you can't be bothered getting those nails out of the shot measure and washing it.

Kitten champagne

Because the kitten in your life also deserves something special (sparkling mineral water). Sure, he might pretend he's not interested but he is. Oh he is.