26/365 AUS Kitty-Hawk

June already. So not making 365 posts within the year. 

Another Who-Who post, this time displaying my cat grooming talent. Grooming usually takes place in a number of locations due to The Who's annoyance at being brushed. It's all good if the brushing is going with the grain. As soon as you get to the backcombing.... well, he was never going to be a goth. This grooming session started on the wall outside the back door, progressed down to the wall outside the bedroom window, round to the wall bordering 'the copse' (The Who's preferred outside 'toilette'), on to the ground in the courtyard then over the gate and into the common area. We finished with an edgy kitty-hawk style, guaranteed to strike terror into the hearts of Bella and Monty, the other third floor dogs (The Who doesn't need a kitty-hawk to strike fear into the heart of Muhammad, the third floor goldfish).

General Sumo recommends:

Avoiding scrambled eggs at Café Segovia

33 Block Place, Melbourne

Grant and I went there this morning, starving after walking out to East Melbourne for a couple of open inspections and then back into the city again. We weren't expecting awesome food but we were expecting some flavour. I must mention, however, that the waiter was very receptive to Grant's complaints so full points to him. However, we will not be going back. For a $17 breakfast, I expect scrambled eggs to be made with dairy products instead of water. And let's not pretend that dairy products aren't added for allergen reasons. Let's call it for what it is: a cost saving measure.

Bengal Tiger

Cnr City Road and Montague Street, South Melbourne

T: 03 9699 4791

Location, location, location. The Bengal Tiger doesn't have it. What it does have is consistently delicious, good quality Indian food with a warm, comfortable interior and friendly, personal service. Perfect for a comfortable mid-week meal or low-key weekend dinner, the only thing missing at The Bengal Tiger, besides a fresh glass per beer, is the people. As that pimply kid on the Bed Shed ad back in Adelaide used to proclaim "it's a pig of a location" and, as a result, it really seems to miss out on the patronage it deserves, at least from an eat-in perspective. But it definitely deserves a visit (or a few). I even felt rewarded for all that time I devoted to reading the Bhagavad Gita when I recognized a scene from the scripture of Krishna and Arjuna preparing to enter battle. That was some hard core reading.

18/365 Beer!

Because one beer event is never enough, on Thursday night, I attended the Australian International Beer Awards. My primary memory of the night is pain due to wearing my work heels out to lunch that day then walking from home to the Belgian Beer Cafe to the casino in even angrier heels. I now have a lot of deflated blisters on the balls of my feet.

Aside from the foot pain, the event was lots of fun. The previous night's record of the most men, aged 23-48 in one venue was quickly surpassed once I arrived and plunged in to the sea of suits. I bravely began the night with a wine but moved on to beer once seated for dinner. Once again, I had entered man heaven as a short-term guest. A large silver bowl at the centre of our table was constantly replenished with different bottles of beer.

As an item of interest, I point out that the evening was hosted by Paul Mercurio. Yes, that guy from Strictly Ballroom who then did the Chesty Bonds ads (I accidentally typed 'Chesty Bongs' then but that is quite a different product). Dinner involved duck, arranged in artfully different ways in the three shallow valleys of my entree plate; ocean trout with some other stuff that escapes me; and an apple tart with cinnamon ice-cream. Normally suspicious of fruit masquerading of dessert, I was pleased to find the apple amply surrounded by fattening pastry and resting lightly in a puddle of cream. Afterwards came coffee, tea and chocolates. I had worked out a plan to chat with people at a lot of different tables so that I could gorge on chocolates without anyone noticing but then I realized I was tired and just wanted to go home.

No awards for us during the night but a lot picked up by a small Western Australian brewery called the Feral Brewing Company. Quite a big achievement for a brewery with only one bottled beer (several more in draught form). The picture above comes from one of a few old beer ads that were screened during the night. I can only hope to be such a good wife as the lady above, bringing her husband a refreshing beer after a long day at work, leading the way with her disturbingly pointy bosom.

General Sumo recommends:

Not turning down an offer to attend the beer awards

Bryson!

Only making one outdoor trip in high heels per day

Stupidly, I then wore the same heels to work the next day. What was I thinking? Caroline was smart enough to wear flats.

Feral White by the Feral Brewing Company

I couldn't say I was big on the name, nor did I try the Feral White but with so many awards and a room full of brewers willing to clap them, I'm guessing they do something right.

14/365 Wardrobe Emergency!

You know the feeling: you're off to a special event, you've spent an hour trawling through your wardrobe but you've got nothing to wear. Well, my sartorially challenged friends, now is the time to rejoice! At least for those of you doing the weekly shop. Above is the perfect shirt to wear whilst shopping for fresh produce, as found at the South Melbourne Market. 

Try not to take offence when people comment on your juicy melons.

General Sumo recommends:

South Melbourne Market

Cnr of Cecil and Coventry Streets, South Melbourne

Although the Central Market in Adelaide is still my favourite, the 50 minute plan ride is not always practical. The South Melbourne Market is a damn good substitute. Fresh fruit and vegetables, meat, bread, sweeties and pasta are in plentiful supply as are cute dogs lining the street outside. If you're lucky, you might catch a random butcher singing opera. My only complaint is that it's a little bit vanilla. This is not the place to come if you're looking for anything that falls outside the regular white upper-middle class diet.

T.O.M.S. (The Organic Meat Store)

Stall 30, South Melbourne Market

I'm not such a big meat fan but I've loved everything we've bought from T.O.M.S.  The service is fast, friendly and helpful and the guys can tell you where the meat is from - something that makes someone struggling with the ethics of meat-eating, like me, feel a little bit better.

13/365 Bill

This is Bill. Bill hangs at The Gertrude Hotel in Fitzroy, waiting for scratches and doggy admiration. Rumor has it that he occasionally lets fly with a particularly pungent fart, although I've fortunately yet to experience this.

Grant and I ate lunch at The Gertrude on Saturday during an interlude in property viewing. I had pumpkin and parmesan ravioli with a tomato and vegetable sauce whilst Grant indulged in the burger. Big marks to my pasta, in particular the sauce, which featured plentiful vegetable action. I find this is often hard to come by in pasta dishes so it was a pleasant surprise. 

At first shunning my advances and seriously endangering my Dr. Doolittle reputation, Bill eventually came around when he realized that his table of lady friends was leaving and he could no longer receive foot scratches. We spent some fun time together, me giving him some energetic rubs on the belly with my feet. It sure did make me miss having a dog. I'm not saying I don't love The Who-Who because who doesn't, right? But there's only so much vigor with which you can rub a kitten's soft white belly.

Sleep well Bill. Until the next time.

General Sumo recommends:

The Gertrude Hotel

148 Gertrude Street, Fitzroy

It smelt a little funky this Saturday but I'm prepared to put that down to the copious amounts of rain. Or maybe Bill. I've heard the chicken wings are superb but since I am one of those three Australians who doesn't like chicken, I haven't explored that terrain. Friendly staff, relaxed atmosphere, amusing pet and a fireplace. What's not to love?

The CardioTwister presentation

This was on the TV at The Gertrude. Working out hasn't been this fun since.... well, ever! And I don't know, Cheryl, I reckon I do hate working out more than you do. Check out the padded handlebars at the 2:00 mark. I think you'll appreciate them as much as she does. Also, note that by buying the CardioTwister, you appear to automatically upgrade your digs to a mansion with swimming pool. And for only $14.95 for a 30 day trial (but if you don't like it, you have to pay return shipping)! What I want to know is, if it takes 4-6 weeks to ship, as detailed in tiny writing at the bottom of the last few frames, does your 30 days start from the despatch date or the receipt date? Oh to hell with it! 7/10/09 - Cardio Party at my house!!!!!!

6/365 Moomba

Another year, another Moomba.  This time I avoided getting sunburnt by employing the wily tactic of attending at night.

Grant and I went out for dinner at Pellegrini's, something I've been meaning to do for a long time. After an intense lasagne experience, complete with watermelon granita (served by Anita, clearly forced into the role because of her rhyming name), we wandered back through the city and stumbled upon this year's Moomba festival.

It was there that I realized two important things: 1) No matter how good a parent you normally are, you are always going to suck at events like this.  All of those unnaturally coloured foods, cheap shitty trinkets and mystifyingly oversized toys insulted my South-Melbourne-Market-going, Scandanavian-design-loving, two-bedroom-apartment-living senses. I was quietly horrified. But I'm pretty sure this is what kiddy heaven looks like. All the mini people were wandering around either super-hyped or in a blissful daze, otherwise known as a sugar coma, clutching Scooby Doos the size of an actual great dane. If that was my child, I couldn't wait until it went to sleep and I could sneak Scooby down the rubbish chute. "Velma came by in The Mystery Machine looking for him last night. It looks like Old Man Cattich is haunting the roller rink downtown again. You understand, don't you?"

Oh and 2) God, teenagers shit me! Generally. Like, I know that they're just being lion cubs and learning how to play in the big jungle and all of that but gosh, am I ever glad I'm over those days. One charming young suitor called to a prospective bunch of belles: "Hey, come and suck my dick!" Ah, modern courting. 

But on to the picture above. As always, I can't resist an example of astoundingly bad English. I feel like I should have some sort of funny comment to make about it but I really can't think of anything. I am open to suggestions.  Whilst I'm on that picture though, what is going on with all of the stuffed toys hanging upside down like they're in some sort of stuffed toy horror film? Quick, Care Bear power required!

General Sumo recommends:

Taking a walk through the city at night

One of our favourite activities as a couple that never fails to remind us just why we love living in the city so much. There's always something going on in Melbourne's CBD and the best way to see it all is on foot.

Checking out the Moomba fireworks

Even if you don't dig the sideshows and teenage mating rituals, the fireworks are always beautiful.

Dining at Pellegrini's

66 Bourke Street, Melbourne

I know I'm way behind on this one but the lasagne and watermelon granita was well worth the wait. I've never had lasagne like that. Ever. The staff are friendly and happy and clearly have a great camaraderie. I must go back for cake.